#143

here's so much going through my head.
I was very looking forward to finishing up my studies.
But now that I'm so close to it, having one more paper to sit for for this term, and another 7 weeks for the next term, I would be finishing up this degree of mine, if everything goes well of course.
But now that I'm that much closer to it, I'm kinda scared to know what I'm going to be doing next year.

One thing for sure that's bothering me is, where do I go from here?

And suddenly at this moment, graduating is the very last thing I want to achieve for now.
Suddenly coming to the end, I want to be a student, albeit how much I hated studies before this.
Weird, but true.
I don't enjoy having to go to classes, doing homework (not like it bothers me coz I never did any homework since my Diploma days) and handing in assignments and burning midnight oil for exams.
But despite how much I hate being a student, I suddenly want to remain being a student.
Call me weird, coz I find myself weird too.

I have so many different plans popping into my head every single day.
One day, I wanna be working and travelling in Aussie before I start a full-time job,
Another day, I want to work in Singapore.
Another day, I want to work and travel in the States for the summer program.
Another day, I find myself looking at Uni's to continue my Masters.
Another day, I just want to go back home and settle at home for a bit.
Days pass by, and with each passing days, my motives change like how seasons change.
Or more like, how the hours of the day change.

Bottom line is, I don't want to face the future.
I'm pretty comfortable with what I have now.
Sad to say, but I'm so dwelt in my comfort zone that I'm so afraid to step out of it.

Dwelling won't get me anywhere.
It's only fair that I sit down and list down all my options, and weigh all the consequences.
It is sad to say that, I'm growing up.
Responsibilities are slowly stacking up.

Truth is we don't know much.
We don't know where the future can bring us.
It gets judgmental from the start.